Why Effective Listening Beats Talking Every Time – Advice That Works
I learned, in some cases, the hard way, that the quietest person listening in the meeting is generally the brightest person in the room.
Early in my sales career, over forty years ago in the early 1980s, the combination of recently having the warehouse in the rearview mirror and me being excited to be in front of a customer gave me a terrible case of motormouth.
I had so much to say, and I had thirty to sixty minutes to say it. Or so I thought.
It may have been after four or five of those kinds of meetings that it finally dawned on me that, as proud as I was of getting my message across, I left the meeting with no idea what the customer even wanted. I was too busy name-branding vendor lines down their throat.
Why Active Listening Builds Deeper Client Trust and Loyalty
Realizing this, I changed my strategy to STFU mode. Instead of sucking all the oxygen out of the room, I just let the customer speak and, when the situation warranted it, asked probing questions. Probing questions generally start with when, why, how, or what.
This way, the customer would have a hard time just answering yes or no.
The issue with yes-or-no answers is that they are black and white. No grey, no Technicolor. What do you reply with when the customer gives you the “no?” After an awkward time squirming, you are on to another topic.
Probing questions entail more of that technicolor you are looking for. The goal is to get the customer to speak freely, with your sole job being to capture everything.
How Asking Open-Ended Questions Unlocks Valuable Insights
By doing the homework before and again after the meeting, I was able to get a reasonably accurate assessment of the customer-to-be’s main product lines. This was way before the advent of Google over a decade later,
Customers never want to feel as if they are wasting their breath. It meant a lot to my customers that I was able to deliver a five-minute review of the previous meeting with them, so they would not have to regurgitate it. Plus, it proved that I was a listener.
It’s always the little things that make the most significant difference.
No one wants to play ‘blind man’s bluff’ walking into a meeting. Do your homework enough to be dangerous, but not so much as to hog the conversation.
Letting the customer speak is always a good thing. It’s imperative that you listen with intent and are not just hoping and waiting for the first opportunity to speak.
You may have all the answers at that meeting. How about following up with the customer two days later – either in person (preferred) or on the phone – to answer all those same product enquiries you may have easily answered the other day?
Why Patience, Listening, and Follow-up Matter More Than Instant Answers
The answers never changed, but their opinion of you may have. The customer will admire you as someone with exceptional follow-up skills. It’s imperative that you maintain that admiration.
They are more likely to be open with you, as you are now seen as a valuable resource and an even better listener. No one wants to waste their breath on someone obviously distracted. Or worse, waiting impatiently for a customer pause if only for you to complete their personal meeting agenda.
As I was at the start. You don’t want to be that guy! Me neither.
Better to let the person on the other side of that desk speak to their heart’s content, rather than you telling the customer you know their brands and then trying to woo them with your expertise. That will likely have the opposite effect — boring them, rather than wooing them.
Just be patient. Of course, you are there on a mission. Make it “Mission Possible.” It may seem like a lifetime, but you’ll get your turn; let them open up and just soak it all in. Chances are, you will learn things that will be useful with your other customers, without sharing any of their secrets.
When you never stop listening, you never stop learning. No one has all the answers, even you.
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